A Long List of Grievances

So I've been back in New York for almost two weeks now and I return to Nashville/road trip it to New Orleans, a week from today, and I could not be more relieved. 

I have my own room now. Which i turned into a cave. Which suits my current circumstances.

I know I've been worrying a lot of people recently, worrying them a lot, (a lot a lot) and I am very grateful for all of the incendiary people in my life who care (thank the lord for Ryan Poteet. You are an amazing friend and a beautiful person and I'm sorry for trying your patience.) On the other hand, some people have been gravely disappointing, but I unfortunately have come to expect people to disappoint me and be surprised when they don't.  But, I guess it's better to fall into hell every once in a while and see who's still standing next to you, than ice skate forever with fair weather friends.

Issue number 2 with the world:

Dear young adults just now trying to find your place in the world...

there is more to life than ending up on the latest photoblog. there is more to life than witty little theme parties. there is more to life than mediocre clubs with nothing really going for them other than washed up 30 year olds who let 18 year olds into the v.i.p section so that they can keep feeling young.  

For the sake of not being a hypocrite lemme give you a little  context for my rant.

I am sick and tired of finding out that people that I thought were genuine, passionate and vibrant human beings, were actually social climbing little snakes slithering there way up from the trannies at rush to the free bottles at le royale.

it's sad really. really sad. 

And I understand the lure of pretty faced and feathered internet whores laughing along with you to the beats of badly remixed pop hits, but Come On Guys.

I've gone through cycles of kicking off and dropping out for a while, but I always end up back here with these same feelings towards certain people.

Try getting really faded and mischievously roam the boroughs of this fair city with some quality people, it's some of the best fun i can remember having since we used to get drunk at p lot and dance on our cars.

So listen you scoundrels, going out is something I do every night too when I'm not drowning in a sea of work, but I would rather sit around and listen to records and drink wine with souls blazing, getting to the point where we're willing to take our clothes off and cover ourselves in glitter, than sit in a club full of delusional wannabe socialites, escaping their sad realities, any day.

But at the end of any day, to each his own, and as long as you are happy, do your thing boo, but don't forget to make sure you're satisfied.

and remember 

Karma is a Bitch My Dears.  

Another note on being genuine:

If you're not, please refrain from talking to me.  I am so over wannabe Lux Interior, charm me with violence and sugar coat me with danger people(boys).

get over yourselves.

s'il vous plait.

And to a note to a few others:

Quit causing drama. No one's interested.

Take your pills and shut the fuck up.

Please.

I just want to go back here

  

So yea,

I don't really know what my point is. But people have been getting on me about not blogging, so look at me go, i'm blogging!

Ummm...

constructive things....

I filled this out and it was incredibly eye opening, it might be for you too.

And if you haven't yet, you should really go to the Frick museum on 70th and 5th. Molly and I ventured uptown after a bowl of cereal, and I have never been so pleasantly surprised by a stuffy place that looks at me like I'm going to steal/break things.

I saw three Turners.

He's one of my favorites.

Three!

Like this

BANG

BANG

BANG

Now didn't that feel good?

Alright. I'm out. I have papers to write about anthropology of Cherokee Indians and the use of psychedelic drugs in communal living. Thanks Eugene Lang for not making me take real classes.

Oh and this explains pretty much everything

anyone want to start a band?

xx

CMS

Elephant Gun

To me this is present and past. Now and Then. Today Tomorrow. I call both home. Some say that's a Freudian Slip. I'm not really sure yet what it means.

One of these places warms my heart and the other excites my cells.

I don't know which I prefer.

To you there may be no competition, you've got your mind made up, badgoodbad, 

I on the other am stretch armstrong. which one of you can pull harder.

At the end of the day I know though, with special thanks to the kind and wise words of a dear, instant, and forever friend Scott Bunner, there should be no pulling.  There can only be the gentle nudging of the intuition of my mind that for once thinks of no one else and does what is right for me.

There is no selfish when it comes to taking care of yourself.

There are friends and families and classes and houses and roommates. A life had and a life forming in front of my eyes.

I leave New York tomorrow to slip back down to the sleepy south and let mama jackie and papa rj calm my racing heart and speeding thoughts to find clarity.

I will return to the city on wednesday. Either alone. In which case that means I am staying. Or with mama. In which case I am packing up shop and turning out the lights.

No matter what, some will be disappointed, and some will be elated.

But in the end, I am young, so young.

and have come too far to throw it all away on a hazy dream, or cheap drugs, or whipping cars, or tall trees.

I guess my point is that I apologize to those of you who do not understand, or will be angered by whichever decision I make. And to those of you who are finding yourselves at conflicted points in your life, please take time to listen to yourself and make a decision that is right for you. That may seem obvious, but up until today I didn't realize that. 

This is ultra super oober corny but on my 18th birthday my dad made me a card with the best life advice i've ever read that I will treasure forever. Make what you want of this, Call it my christmas gift to you.

Love yourself.

Make peace with who you are.

At this moment in time.

Listen to your heart.

If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world

Make time for yourself.

Enjoy your own company.

Let your mind wander among the stars.

Try.

Take Chances.

Make mistakes.

Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it's also full of

Surprises.

The next rock in your path might be a stepping stone.

Be Happy.

When you don't have what you want, Make Do.

That's a well kept secret of contentment.

There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow.

You have to make your own way.

To know where you're going is only part of it.

You need to know where you've been too.

And if you ever get lost,

Don't worry.

The people who love you will

Find you.

Count on it.

Life isn't in years.

It's what you do with time.

And do it with all the goodness and grace inside you.

Make a Beautiful Life...

The Life you Deserve.

So that's all I got for now.  That's where I'm at. I've always been a stumbler. I have an insatiable curiosity and voracious appetite to test myself and this has led to a constant state of that feeling when you've just tripped and know you're going to hit the ground and there's nothing you can do about it, and you accept it. I don't see that as bad though, I enjoy it actually.  But I think it's time that I stand still for a second.

Stand still with me.

if i could have one sounds for the rest of my life it would be them.

xx

CS

SEX

Would you? Could you?

In a car?

Eat them! Eat them!

Here they are.

Sex Without Love

by: Sharon Olds

How do they do it, the ones who make love

without love? Beautiful as dancers,

gliding over each other like ice-skaters

over the ice, fingers hooked

inside each other's bodies, faces

red as streak, wine, wet as the

children at birth whose mothers are going to

give them away. How do they come to the

still waters, and not love

the ones who came there with them, light

rising slowly as steam off their joined

skin? There are the true religious,

the purists, the pros, the ones who will not

accept a false Messiah, love the 

priest instead of the God. They do not

mistake their lover for their own pleasure,

they are like great runners: they know they are alone

with the road surface, the cold, the wind,

the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-

vascular health--just factors, like the partner

in the bed, and not the truth, which is the

single body alone in the universe

against its own best time.

I Hate Blogging

I really do.  I don't know why I have this thing.  Actually I do, Molly made me, and it would break her heart if I deleted it so I'm going to try try try to not feel like a total douche while I write about my life that as of lately I don't even really understand.

Oh yeah. I guess I can tell you about Molly, cause she's amazing and probably one of two people in this world I could live this prison cell with and not poison. 

But yea. She keeps me sane. Saves my life. Catches me when I fall.

She's beautiful.

Oh and my other roommate Claudie, who is luminescent and certifiably insane (in the best way) has one of these shits too now. Click it out. I said that you would be able to stalk us all eventually.

But for now 

we

are the bloggers of 2c.

So I guess I'm gonna get personal for lack of anything better to babble about.

kind of in a strange place right now,

I'm in a really strange place right now,  

I spent the last two and a half years of my life pushing every limit to almost fatal ends and somehow made it out of all of it in a good place.  Thankfully the ones who mattered found me and helped bring me back to life, and now I'm learning how to take care of myself and be the adult I thought I was a long time ago. It's all still very messy, but I will always take chaos over calm no matter how much I try otherwise.

I think the point I'm trying to get at is that recently multiple tragedies have reminded me of our own mortality despite our youth and (transparent) resilience.  If I could, I would wrap everyone I love in bubble wrap so that they never get hurt or die, I would, but I can't.

So in short, please take care of yourselves. Please live loudly, be wild, howl and break the rules,  but let's all look out for each other while we do it.

Now I'm done being mushy.

Here's a really awesome vegan sandwich I made a few days ago.

Suck on that carnivores.

Oh and f.y.i. this is what happens when you go out and pee on a bar. 

reason number 103872 why this boy is one of my best friends.

Anyways. Let's drink whiskey in graveyards until it gets warm enough to go on naked bike rides.

Oh and if you're an nyc-er, come to MOMA with me tomorrow. I have to philosophize for a class. and there is a Futurist exhibit, which if you're not familiar with you should be.  Here's some incentive. 

And these are awesome. I want I want I want.

And here's your giggle of the day chuckleface.

xx

CMS

oh and here are some things to look at

johhny and bob.

the smiths

they make me happy. hope they can do the same for you. my head hurts goodnight.

CM

Hi I'm Chloe Marie

so i think when you meet a person's parents you can learn a lot about them

so here are mine.

my dad is gay (and yes he's my biological father. and no i don't feel like explaining to you "how did that happen?" deal.) and my mom is a native american. they traveled the country singing together for a long bit until i was kicking my moms tummy too hard and they settled down in nashville tennessee.

i'm southern. i love the south. and whatever your stereotypes are about the region are mere misconceptions. i am certain. come down whenever i'm there and see us and i will show you a good time. yes we will wear shoes and yes we will drink lots of whisky. 

I am currently a transplant to new york city. i go to the new school. you may have heard of it...and no i have not seen tim gun. communication design and urban studies seem to be the plan right now. i want to explore and i am interested in too many things.(disorderly conduct, explicit nudity, bubbles, glow sticks, art, vamps, karma, spandex, free spirits, meditating, hot water, vegans, cunts, whores, self medication, blood, more art and dark liquor to name a few.) i'll settle on whichever of them will lead to the best adventures.

i live around lower chelsea and i have amazing roommates who you will eventually be able to cyberstalk as well as we all jump on the band wagon and we are the girls of 2C.

Basically me and my band of miscrits are all just retards in pretty colors and now we're on display as we look to the internet for new outlets for wasting time.

Do enjoy. discuss. lemme know. figure it out. make fun. point fingers. jump in. we're all dying anyway. and we're all just so damn clever too.

CM