ChloëKillwell

19.11.09

We Almost Forgot Every Building is a Shop, Every Person is A Shopper

We're All Selling Ourselves Now. Constantly. Every Person Is Their Own Brand.

As the digital age stretches beyond dawn to dusk, and has become a 24/7 world of sharing information, i'm not going to lie, it is not hard to become quite overwhelmed.

it's an addiction of poking at a keyboard and staring at the white light of a computer screen,

and as we all slowly develop carpal tunnel and cataracts,

we are plagued by the constant irk that we are missing something,

we can't absorb fast enough,

we can't retain quite enough.

As I try and keep up, and I shall not lie yet again, I do not do half the job that some people do at staying updated, I constantly fight off my

obsession with old fashioned

I love trains, letters, teapots, newspapers, vintage anything, typewriters, record players, and so much more.

But it's time to give in. I'm fizzling out of antiquity and into the 21st century

and ChloëKillwell is branching out ya'll!

Very Pleased to have virtually met an internet inspiration, a Ms. Bacall Michaels

and she has invited me to be a partner of

Defying Mainstrem

A blog, turning e-zine, "where Mainstream is challenged and Indie thrives."

The project is currently under construction that sounds like it is going to yield one kick ass collaboration.

So stay tuned clicksters, go have a look and give us your feedback!

Other than that I am not at liberty to say much else at this point, seeing as this is Bacall's beautiful brainchild, but I am very excited she's taking me along for the ride.

As for this site however, don't worry, ChloëKillwell is staying simple and keeping it to the venting, images, art and angst that you're used to.

Anyways... life feels like a combination of these three images right now.

Make of it what you will.

Tonight has come with a burst of inspiration, for which I am very thankful for.

Instead of writing my paper on the poeticism of war (which i don't find poetic in any way)

or writing my essay on community based sustainable planning initiatives,

I declared my major at the New School as a Non-Fiction writer and Screen Studier

I dig.

And I continued the mess that has become me writing and gluing newspaper articles upon my walls, made a block print, a cartoonish birthday card, and finally almost finished an oil painting that's been staring at me for far too long.

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comme ça:

(sorry for the terrible image quality. My Rebel is currently missing charger)

and now to begin Soyinka. I'll let you know how it goes

Until next time... Stay Magical.

CMS

p.s. bumped up and extended trip home, now I will see all the NashvILLists on Saturday and we can raise a ruckus and love one another for 7 crazy nights.

13.11.09

kissing questions and hitting the wind

I'm trying to embrace

But I'm a little bit more well versed in, well other things

and when it's this chilly outside chillin and hangin look more like this

I'm mad vibin' cause i get to go home to nashville for thanksgiving.

I'm in desperate need as usual of some Southern Comfort.

This is what home feels like sometimes

and Mariel and I decided that this picture is pretty much Nashville Chloë in a box.

And New York Chloë looks like this

But announce announce! I am back on the fence about moving back to Nashville

I can't explain why. Call it indecisive. Call it exploration. Call it annoying that I can't make up my mind.

I did sign up for classes next semester.

And the half of me that plans on staying is excited to be exploring playwriting, creative non-fiction and screen studies next semester. And to brush up a little on the française.

So that's a quick update. I need to get in the shower before my friends show up at my place and kill me as usual for being wet and in a robe, instead of being made up and in the usual nyc uniform of everything black and most things ripped.

will be back @ya later with some more recent photographs of life and some good textures to look at.

Until then, go read some Romantic poetry and play with charcoal. It's what I do when I'm bored.

CMS

6.11.09

If You're Going Abroad I Can't Help You, If You're Crossing The Street I Might Be There

So tonight is regretfully nostalgic. Not sure why it's regretful. Nostalgia isn't really a bad thing, more a recognition of how great the past was. But it's frustrating when it

distracts you from the present.

(Anyways... I decided to deal with my longing by finally unpacking my suitcase and spicing up the photos of my halloweekend trip to New Orleans, before going out on the town tonight)

So this lightening storm took place the night before I arrived, so I was unable to witness its splendor, however I think it was most certainly an omen of the electricity we were all going to experience.

Thursday night, after a hellish flight schedule and getting in at midnight instead of 7pm, we played like the good old days with beer pong, good green and better people

Friday night we biked across the city to Voodoo Fest (yes, in full fairy garb)

The boys pansied out, but Amelia and I hunkered down through the rain and cold front to see the Black Keys, Justice and our all time love, Eminem.

In all of His Glory.

Halloween we woke up and watched the Orphan, which I am still having trouble shaking

and then dawned our awesome costumes.

Amelia and Lee found replicas of the masks from the horror movie

The Strangers

and we found the boys some nice duds at a local thrift store

and after running over their threads a few times with the car

and a lot of sticky corn syrup an red food coloring

We were serial killers and Dale was dead.

the bestest besties of all time:

The street car was taking forever, so the boys started street fighting

we took it upon ourselves to terrorize an Arby's in the French Quarter

mainly because it was the only place that would let our drunk asses pee.

The Quarter was PACKED with amazing costumes and people having loads of fun

This woman was probably the best zombie I've ever seen

with full veneers and contacts

apparently modeled after the movie 30 days of night

which now I must add to my horror buff repitoire

and lastly here's the crew in all of our splendor

(minus Amelia who was taking the pic)

I just love how happy we all look.

I just wish everyday felt like this one.

So now that I've shared all my longing with you all, I'm hittin the streets

and leaving you with my two fave post secrets from the week

xx,

CMS

3.11.09

Want to Leave But the World Won't Let Me Go

So I just spent halloweekend in New Orleans with my sister Amelia.

It was one of my favorite weekends i've ever had

my last post was while I was there

I was so happy I didn't want to take the time to slow it all down by describing in detail

so i just gave you some sights and sounds

so maybe you could feel it too

there's just something about certain people and certain places

like part of my favorite quote (that my landlord is not going to be pleased to find gilded on my bedroom wall...oopsie daisy) from my favorite book

"that burn, burn, burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the sky and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop, and everyone goes "Awww."

But until Amelia posts the photographs, I shall give you a long overdue update on the recent and eventful happenings @west 10th.

the semester started out with fashion's night out

i got an awesome new leather zip up dress from intermix

I guess Anna Wintor's grand idea did influence some irresponsible spending

way to go Anna! of course that will help the economy (not)

Another weekend my friends had a "Good Hair" party

which consisted of a lot of dayglow weave, binge drinking and a few bad decisions

Mariel and I don't like when people touch us or tell us what to do

so we put our weave in the form of long eyelashes made of feathers

I think it was the right thing to do.

Another night we attempted to go to a "party"

apparently some people don't know what that word means anymore.

But we still discovered one thing while waiting in the subway, and we thought it was important enough to write part of it on both of our hands so we could share it, and find the other one if we got separated.

we probably lasted about the 5 minute in "the party"

but we did find out that our lives currently feel like a kitty in a bag, if you know what i mean, that there's a veggie wrap being sold somewhere in the financial district called "the angry broker," and if we want to take a cab, we'll take a cab.

My last weekend in the Big Apple, before headin' down to the Big Easy

we tried to go to a party in Brooklyn.

In the words of Jay Z and Santagold "Brooklyn We Go Hard"

but anyways, leaving Manhattan is easier said than done,

but we had some nice kitten times in the apartment before our failed excursion

So that's the long and the short of Now.

I feel like New York is a time trap right now, and when I'm here the sand in my looking glass moves very slowly. But when I leave it floods out so fast I can't keep up.

But I'd rather not be able to keep up, than have to wait up.

I have so much to figure out right now, a bottomless pit of endless opportunity is not as great as everyone thinks it is. A least not when you have A.D.D.

I'll keep you posted.

CMS

31.10.09

And They Laughed About the Past and Avoided Talking About the Future

But the Most Important Thing Was That They Were Right There Right Now

you never know until they're gone that they were so important

and your time was so precious

but when you can come back so long after and all of the gray still goes away into

holding hands and screaming

freezing, soaked skeletons and wilted fingers, spinning in the fields anyways

just because you can do anything when you're together

and the little things glitter and twist

and the big things flutter off in shades of lavender

the water is amber and the smoke clouds our minds so we can see everything for the first time.

12.10.09

Tiny Pin Pricks No One Else Feels

I'm back in New York City

and I'm home sick, head sick, heart sick, and humanly sick

It's cold here, but I don't mind.

I love the way the heat smells the first time it gets turned on in the winter.

and I love the way staying inside feels more like the word cozy than contain.

and you're a little bit more grateful when the sun shines really bright.

and people smile more.

I think that it's no coincidence that the two seasons, being fall and spring, in which nature yields and crops are harvested, are the same two seasons that people seem happier and the fashion is better.

This is kind of me right now

melting into a puddle of what i thought i wanted and what i have

I just spent the weekend at home in Tennessee (pix coming soon)

and I just can't deny that I'm happier there

It's not circumstantial

It's not all in my head

It's Truth

It's a grand feeling kind of like when a good memory triggers a flash slideshow of beautiful images in your head, and they all fall into each other to make the perfect picture.

Kind of like this

So I've made the official decision that I am going home next semester.

To live

To Breathe

To Love

and To Create

I'm not saying that this is the wrong place, but it's just not right now and I don't like to wonder what if.

Upon extensive research it does seem like the New School is the school for me

but seeing as Amelia and I are likely taking fall '10 abroad, it's just going to have to wait a little while for me to explore, adventure and find who I am post about five years of fiasco for me to take advantage of all that it has to offer.

Whichever team huddle I am missing from, be it NY, TN, or all the people on the horizon that I am destined to meet, if I am not with you just look for me in the windows, like I look for you, and it will seem like we're less far apart.