Tiny Pin Pricks No One Else Feels

I'm back in New York City

and I'm home sick, head sick, heart sick, and humanly sick

It's cold here, but I don't mind.

I love the way the heat smells the first time it gets turned on in the winter.

and I love the way staying inside feels more like the word cozy than contain.

and you're a little bit more grateful when the sun shines really bright.

and people smile more.

I think that it's no coincidence that the two seasons, being fall and spring, in which nature yields and crops are harvested, are the same two seasons that people seem happier and the fashion is better.

This is kind of me right now

melting into a puddle of what i thought i wanted and what i have

I just spent the weekend at home in Tennessee (pix coming soon)

and I just can't deny that I'm happier there

It's not circumstantial

It's not all in my head

It's Truth

It's a grand feeling kind of like when a good memory triggers a flash slideshow of beautiful images in your head, and they all fall into each other to make the perfect picture.

Kind of like this

So I've made the official decision that I am going home next semester.

To live

To Breathe

To Love

and To Create

I'm not saying that this is the wrong place, but it's just not right now and I don't like to wonder what if.

Upon extensive research it does seem like the New School is the school for me

but seeing as Amelia and I are likely taking fall '10 abroad, it's just going to have to wait a little while for me to explore, adventure and find who I am post about five years of fiasco for me to take advantage of all that it has to offer.

Whichever team huddle I am missing from, be it NY, TN, or all the people on the horizon that I am destined to meet, if I am not with you just look for me in the windows, like I look for you, and it will seem like we're less far apart.

xx

CMS