Tiny Pin Pricks No One Else Feels

I'm back in New York City

and I'm home sick, head sick, heart sick, and humanly sick

It's cold here, but I don't mind.

I love the way the heat smells the first time it gets turned on in the winter.

and I love the way staying inside feels more like the word cozy than contain.

and you're a little bit more grateful when the sun shines really bright.

and people smile more.

I think that it's no coincidence that the two seasons, being fall and spring, in which nature yields and crops are harvested, are the same two seasons that people seem happier and the fashion is better.

This is kind of me right now

melting into a puddle of what i thought i wanted and what i have

I just spent the weekend at home in Tennessee (pix coming soon)

and I just can't deny that I'm happier there

It's not circumstantial

It's not all in my head

It's Truth

It's a grand feeling kind of like when a good memory triggers a flash slideshow of beautiful images in your head, and they all fall into each other to make the perfect picture.

Kind of like this

So I've made the official decision that I am going home next semester.

To live

To Breathe

To Love

and To Create

I'm not saying that this is the wrong place, but it's just not right now and I don't like to wonder what if.

Upon extensive research it does seem like the New School is the school for me

but seeing as Amelia and I are likely taking fall '10 abroad, it's just going to have to wait a little while for me to explore, adventure and find who I am post about five years of fiasco for me to take advantage of all that it has to offer.

Whichever team huddle I am missing from, be it NY, TN, or all the people on the horizon that I am destined to meet, if I am not with you just look for me in the windows, like I look for you, and it will seem like we're less far apart.

xx

CMS

Freeze Without An Answer

So New York is feeling Better and Better

Mainly because of these people and a few other shining stars

It kind of feels like this

So every three months or so someone else shows me this video again

Definitely not my favorite song in the world

But Definitely always fun to watch
So I thought I'd show it to you

but this one makes me happier

mainly because it reminds me of being 16. A time I would love to go back to.

So I typically hate blogs, hypocritical, i know

maybe i've just been looking at the wrong ones

Because this guy

is very talented

and his blog Them Thangs, made me really happy

It's a beautiful juxtaposition of elegance and trash, sex and tact, fashion and reality, glamour and grotesque. And I love that it's just pictures.

Go check it out!

These were some of my favorites

But as usual I'm running late

I'm off to Philadelphia for the night to go hang out with some new friends I met at Phoenix and Passion Pit in Central Park last weekend.

Stay Hazardous to your Health, Y'all

xx

CMS

p.s. dear, team big whoops. tomorrow night it's on!

Wonder the Halls Along the Walls

So like I feared, the luster of this concrete jungle where dreams are made of

has worn off

just slightly

i mean it's still shiny, but just not quite as shiny as this window display uptown that Mama Jackie and I really got a kick out of last weekend

It was her birthday and she came to rescue me from my mind

for a few days

and we went and saw Monet at the MOMA

The Water Lilies to be Exact

and no matter how many times i've seen them, they're always breathtaking

this was a pretty sweet exhibit too

About the Netherlands in the 1970's

And we went to Serendipity for lunch and Mari Vanna for Dinner and over stuffed ourselves with amazing food and decor that is the epitome of cute
but in a week and a half I get to go home for Papa RJ's birthday and all will be merry

And Now I'm Just Dreaming

I've got memories for the future and wishes for the past.

it's a mess right now, ya hear?

I guess that's what i get for being a student in the city.

Because my crew right now is pretty in need of a plan b for homework and financial security and a relationship abortion.

i know i've been m.i.a.

but i like the dreaming i've been doing

so i'm going to be doing a lot more of it

ChloëKillwell's on hiatus, y'all

and either this internet expression

the oxymoron that it is

will either pull me back in

or it will be over and out.

But for now

Back to sleep

Because the land is dreamy and thoughts are dewy

it's time for a

XX

CMS

As usual I'm apologizing for not keeping up with the quick, yo. But jokes aside this is the worst I've ever done on staying updated, but, like I probably told my parents 1000 times in high school,

I promise I will do better

the end of the summer was electric thunder, watching the sun come up, floating through the forest, catching lightning bugs and singing as loud and hard as we could.

But enough of that

This is what's now.

and for the first time, I'm super psyched about it

It feels right right right here

and I'm learning that i don't have to feel guilty for enjoying my time here,

loving something new doesn't sway the love of what came before it

I've been listening to a lot of Iggy
as I stomp to class

(super happy about that too. Mariel and I have been in desperate need of some responsibility.)

But we've still been romping it up too (Responsibly Mama Jackie, Papa RJ, Bets and Lar, don't worry!)

We've been getting a lot of this.

But what are you gonna do? If you know anything about us, you understand.

But it's late and I should have been asleep hours ago. Harder, better, faster, stronger post coming asap

But until then, watch out this southern girl is locked and loaded.

xx

CMS

We Float Like Two Lovers In A Painting by Chagall

Nothing could be more true and right now I'm in love with everything and everyone around me, and I can't stop snapping my shutter because everyone and everything around me is so 

Beautiful.

Tennessee as always is just what i need.

I can't even explain it,

there's something to be said for Good People, they seem to be in low supply these days,

but Nashville has a magical world full of them.

My boots are dirty and I feel light as a feather

Day wear consists of swimsuits, Daisy Dukes, vintage sunglasses and 40s

and at night we haunt the streets screaming Rocket Man and Rocky Top

and now the only thing I can think is "WHY LEAVE?"

Amelia and Dale picked me up from the airport and I was immediately whisked off to Fairview

(aka Amelia's farm where the view is the fairest in all the land where we were raised to know how to shoot straight, not be spoiled brats and always raise a ruckus.)

This is basically it: what the past 14 years of our best friendship has looked like.

I've found that

that opens every door

It's just nice to not be in a city that's a cesspool of competition, pretension, and judgement

Just remember

(typography by Stefan Sagmeister, a brilliant mind. You can see more of his work here.

This one is a particular fave.)

I love fashion and style just as much as the next vintage obsessed Edie Sedgwick wanabe

but sometimes there are other things in life.

Well must be on my way to venture into another Southern Summer Night.

Lots of original photos coming soon though and hopefully my own photo website.

Oh and once I get them from Brys, definitely some amazing photos from last night, in which we went to the End to see our friend Oli play, only to be surprised with a super intimate performance by the Brunettes!

Michael and I were such groupies it was kind of embarrassing, but we've only been singing along to their songs in his '87 Mercedes since we were 16.

The night ended with a surprising twist, but I'll save that story for another time.

xx

CMS

A Visual Treat

Ready for this!

Oh And this

Oh And I've been dying to see this. It was at the Angelika, and I think that I might have missed it, but if anyone knows somewhere that it is playing or has a copy, I will open the doors of West 10th for a private viewing and we can all wear Valentino and have a fashion orgy or something.

n'est pas?

Oh And this is one of my favorite movies and I think we should watch it as well.

I'm just trying to be visually stimulated. It is imperative to my sanity right now.

Less drinking, more drawing.

Hopefully I won't stay out until 5am tonight and sleep until 3pm so I can hit some galleries or a Museum before I leave on monday.

Feel free to join me.

xx

CMS

Hang Me Out To Dry, You've Wrung Me Out One Too Many Times

There's been a lack of color reflecting from me to you, you to me

I've had my magenta flash filter and telephoto lens on my diana hoping that the people will start to look like their 35mm counterparts.

Apparently, I read that the "creepy crawlies" are when your aura pulls inside your body,

and I'm pretty sure my aura's been swimming under my skin for way too long.

So i'm on a scavenger hunt for inspiration

The feeling you get when you meet someone and you know, you're sure, that you are going to be great friends

When you're fifteen different places in one night, and you don't really know how you got to any of them.

Waking up to a house full of your friends because no one wanted to go home and then

ordering delivery.com challah french toast and champagne because that's how real New Yorkers do hangover brunch.

I'm drawing everyones face that I love in my sketch book so I can know just how their face wrinkles when they smile, while taking bubble baths and drinking tea.

Karl Lagerfeld said

'The imagination can transform all sorts of personal insanity into elements of self-invention, and you need to make use of this.'

Long story made short...

I'm trying to take his advice.

So for all of us out there looking for beauty I give you Erin Fetherston.

She basically never goes wrong.

This video epitomizes my hopes for fall to be a surrealist meets baroque meets gothic wonderland.

Oh and let's have a seamstress tea party... i'll even make vegan petifores

because i have to sew myself one of these!

Oh and I'm totally over that beatoff R Patz and I've found my true FBH (Future British Husband)

Josh Beech will you marry me?

but don't worry, I'm not an expatriate, yet

Oh and even though much to my chagrin, I recently saw it in the book section of the epic black hole for your soul  aka Urban Outfitters  it is still one of the most captivating, well-written reads I've had in my hot little hands in quite some time

Read it. Love it. Let's discuss it when you're done.

BUT I'm in The City for the weekend, so I must be off to throw glitter in the eyes of strangers and ring the wrong doorbells, ya know, the usual.

xx

CMS